Please let me help you
by Magic Freak
Summary: Ed has been hiding a huge secret about what happend while being on the other side of the gate, Ed is having problems dealing with it, what will happen when Roy finds out. I probably made a hundred spelling and grammar mistakes, I apoligise in advance. Rated m for later content? Will have future smut in it so be warned.
1. Everything is a mask

Edward was sitting in Mustangs office once again, listening to him rant about how he was going over his allowed budget. Ed ignored everything he was saying he just simply played around with the hem of his read jacket, that was until Mustang said something that Ed could not simply ignore. " hey shorty, are you even listening."

" WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT EVEN AN ANT LOOKS DOWN AT HIM"

Al sighed next to him shaking his head "that's not what he said brother"

Ed turned this brother wide eyed " Al your taking his side, even after all I went through to get your body back"

Al's eyes saddened and muttered an apology.

Mustang watched the exchange between the brothers and that's when he noticed it, they were hiding something, Roy didn't like the idea of being left out very much, he decided that he would do everything in his power to find out what the brothers were hiding.

It was then of course Riza walked in she did a quick survey of the room and smiled " good to see that you two have stopped having a lovers quarrel"

Ed and Al turned to Riza who was laughing at the shocked look Mustang's face. "oh please don't tell me that you have no idea what I'm talking about, when you two are in the same room, the air screams sexual tension" and just like that she dumped a pile of work on Roy's desk ordering him to finish them and then left the room.

When Roy looked over at Alphonse and Edward, Ed was on the floor out cold while Al was shaking him, yelling at him to wake up, Roy was about to get up and help when Ed groaned "what the hell was that". Roy shrugged "girls and their weird ways", Ed looked at Al and they laughed together, Roy watched Ed something just wasn't right.

Ed and Al the left Roy to his thoughts, Roy started on the paperwork that Hawkeye Had left for him. After what seemed like hours he finally finished the last one, he looked up, that's when he saw it... Ed's journal was there sitting on the floor, waiting for someone to pick it up and read it. Roy decided that person would be him, he would find out all of Fullmetal's secrets. The first hundred or so pages were about human transmutation, others were on the philosophers stone, then notes about alchemy from other countries. Then it was about things Roy didn't understand, he had no idea what a rocket was, but he had an idea that this was to do with the invasion they had a few years back.

That was when he saw it, At first he didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to believe that someone would do this to Ed, the boy who put others in front of himself. How could they sleep at night knowing they did this to someone so innocent. Roy didn't know what to do with this new found information, he couldn't just confront Ed, that would be the worst thing in the world to do. It was then that Riza walked in again, she really had a habit of walking in at these types of moments, he decided that he would talk to her about it.

"Fullmetal has been raped, tortured and forced to do horrible things, and it's all because he helped us and not them during that invasion" Riza stopped walking over to Roy her eyes wide. He walked over to her letting her see for herself. Ed didn't go to much into detail but it was enough to get a picture. "what should we do" she looked at him

" I was going to ask you the same thing"

She nodded deep in though then she smiled sadly " we pretend we don't know, all we can do is to be there for him, and look out for him, waiting for him to come us when he needs to"

Roy nodded " let's go home, I'll drop you off along the way"

Riza nodded. Roy smiled lightly " everything is a mask with that boy, he seems like plain old Ed, we should have seen he wasn't"

Riza nodded " Ed has been through a lot we don't know what plain old Ed even is"

Ed was in the shower, his head under the tap letting the water run down his whole body, his head was down, one hand on the wall the other one on his chest, he was biting his lip as he held back the pain. When the pain started to fade his breath became steady instead of rasps.

Ed cursed he hated it when then that happened, it made him completely useless, at least no one knew about it yet, he managed to keep it a secret even from Al. He reached for the razor and placed three identical cuts in his wrist, then three more on forearm then three more at his shoulder. He sighed as he looked at the blood dripping from his fingers, it made the pain in his chest more bareable, just like the chest pains this was also another secret he managed to keep it to himself.

As he got out of the shower he looked at his arm staring at the old and the also not so old scars, he knew it was bad and that he shouldn't be doing it, he just couldn't help it, he started about two years ago and no matter what he did, he couldn't stop. He knew his friends would freak out and send him to a hospital to get some help, he wasn't doing it to kill himself or even for attention it just helped with the pain.

Ed walked out of the bathroom and into his room where he put on his baggy sweat pants and a baggy shirt. He sat down on his bed, grabbed a book and began writing, he was writing a book about human transmutation and the consequences that go along with attempting one, telling his experience, about what happened to Al and himself, he also mentioned his teacher and what she went thought because she attempted it. His goal was to stop others from making the same mistake that he did, hoping to teach others that life only flows in one direction and should not be tampered with.

He wrote about a page before putting it back down, he couldn't find enough strength to concentrate he walked down stairs where Al had fallen asleep on the couch, Ed sighed he was going to miss Al when he left, Al was moving in with Winry he left in a week. Then Ed would be on his own. It would be nice it would give him space but he was used to having Al at arms length whenever he needed help, it would take some time to get used to it.

He left a note for Al saying he had gone for a walk, just in case he woke up, so he wouldn't worry. Ed had no idea where he was going but he kept on walking, he needed to keep on walking, clear his head from the memories of that horrible place. He had no idea why but he started running, he just kept on running, nothing could make him stop, even the stitch that was forming. He just kept on running, well until he ran right into three heavy built guys.

He looked up at them apologetically "sorry wasn't watching where I was going" he had just managed to get to his feet when the middle guy knocked him back down by pitching him in his face. Ed clapped his hands to together but before he managed to make contact with anything, one of them grabbed his arms and forced them behind his back. "he's that fullmetal dog, keep him from using his alchemy". Ed tried to struggle from the three men.

The other two men constantly kicked and punched him repeatedly calling him 'a dog of the military' telling him he deserved this. After a while Ed blacked out falling back into another time, another world completely. He was chained against a wall like a star, while four men were standing in front of him. One hitting him with a bat, another cutting him with a knife, another punching him, the last was asking him questions at five minute intervals.

They were after information about alchemy, they wanted to know why it didn't work in their world, Alphonse was hidden, that and they didn't know he was even in their world, those who did were the ones who had kept him hidden. So basically they had nothing against him so Ed being Ed wouldn't say anything and with them being them,they wouldn't give up.

The guys currently beating him up had no idea that Ed was living in another moment they just continued to punch kick and laugh.

Roy was on his way home he had just dropped Riza home, they had discussed more about the Ed situation and how they cannot believe that he had managed to keep something this big a secret, it made them wonder if even Alphonse knew or whether he was in the dark with them.

Roy was forced to stop when he was three guys ganging up on someone, not knowing that someone was Edward Elric. He got out of the car, not even bothering to turn it off, he ran over whilst putting on his glove. "stop right now or I will burn you to a crisp" once he got closer he realized that Ed was the one being beating. Not even giving giving them a chance to stop he clicked three times, he burnt them enough that they no longer had any clothes which where replace with third degree burns.

The one holding Ed let go, screaming the three large man ran off like three year olds. Roy ran over to Ed catching him before his head connected to the concrete floor. "Edward"

Ed just groaned " I'm not going to tell you anything so just kill me already" Roy looked at Ed confused, he shook him lightly " Edward are you alright it's me Roy".

Edward opened his arms and smiled lightly "thanks bastard" before he fainted.

**Please review it would make me happy :)**


	2. You need help

When Ed woke he was blinded by a white light, he groaned. He sat up reaching over to the bedside table for a glass of water but when he looked over, he saw Roy asleep in the chair. Ed frowned he had no idea why Roy was here. Then it came to him, Roy had saved him but why did he stay?. A nurse walked in and smiled at him, " Mr Elric, good to see your finally awake".

When his response was a confused look, she giggled " you have been asleep for two weeks, and this one.." she pointed to Roy "never left your side, others came too, made an awful lot of noise they did". Ed's eyes went wide " TWO WEEKS!" The nurse nodded and smiled at him "I'll go get the doctor" she then left the room without another word.

Ed looked back at Roy who had not moved a muscle. Ed grabbed a pillow from behind him and threw it at the older man. "wake up sleeping beauty" Roy groaned and looked over at Ed " oh your awake". He smirked and then through the pillow back at Ed. " you gave everyone quite a scare". Ed pouted in a sarcastic way. " aw would Mustang miss me". Roy shook his head, " of course who else is short enough to entertain me". Ed's face went bright red, Roy could tell that in a matter of seconds he would be facing a mini rant from the blonde.

" WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT THEY CANNOT BE SEEN THROUGH A MICROSCOPE" Ed's breath was now heavy, as he glared at Roy.

" I didn't say that Edward" Roy chuckled. He soon became serious as the doctor walked in.

He gave Ed the normal check up, informing him of the injuries that he had sustained. " you had internal bleeding we operated as soon as we could, you also have two broken and three fractured ribs" Ed nodded as he listened " we also noticed all the old scars on your body and the not so old"

Ed froze he didn't want explain about what happened while on the other side of the gate, he didn't even want to explain that he had been cutting. The doctor was clearly waiting for an explanation, so Ed decided to make something up. " They were other injuries I retained while Bradley was in power, he got angry at me from time to time... I guess it was my fault I destroyed a lot of things"

He looked over at Roy who's eyes were wide... Ed smiled slightly. The doctor turned to Roy " your not really buying this are you, he is lying anyone can see that". It was Ed's turn to be the one wide eyed, only this time his jaw dropped. "h-how did yo-you know"

The doctor smirked at him " please I'm not an idiot, I know some of those wounds were inflicted by yourself"

Roy was just staring at Ed, Ed shifted awkwardly, this was the one thing he had been trying to avoid, he didn't want people to stare or to be looked at different.

" show me" Ed's jaw dropped even further.

" no, why in the world would I show you, pervert"

Roy went red in the face, " EDWARD ELRIC, IM YOUR COMMANDING OFFICER AND A FRIEND NOW SHOW ME NOW"

Ed blushed at the use of his name, at the same time he pulled as arm out of his shirt and showed Roy his scars.

Roy just stared at the his face went from red to really white. " why, why did you do this Ed, I mean what the hell were you thinking" he was shaking his head. " do you want to die, is that why, you were in that fight, do you want to die Edward"

Ed just stared at him wide eyed and that annoyed Mustang... A lot. He shook Edward "TELl ME EDWARD, TELL ME"... When Edward didn't say anything he shook him again. " GOD DAMN IT TELL ME...TELL ME PLEASE". Mustang stared at him in shock when Ed didn't say anything. " why do you want to leave us, you just came back" Ed was looking right into Roy's eyes and he could see the sadness in them, but he still couldn't look away.

" it wasn't to kill myself, I just can't handle the pain it hurts, then the memories of... Never mind" Roy though back to his journal, was he about to be told, he ignored it.

"What hurts Mr Elric" it was the doctor

Ed looked at the doctor " che-chest pain". The doctor stared at the young alchemist for a moment. Ed looked at him staring at his eyes " it hurts" The doctor nodded " that was where the internal bleeding was, we were suspicious of other things but wanted to wait until you were awake to test them"

" Ed why did you not tell anyone" Roy moved closer to Ed .

" it's my burden to bare" Roy just shook his head in anger at the young alchemist

" don't spin that shit, you don't have to do everything alone"

Ed sighed " who can I go to huh?... I can't go to Al he has been through so much already I cant bother him anymore"

Roy just stared at him in shock, Ed really believe he could only go to Al, that he was alone. Roy didn't know what to say to convince Ed that he would be there. The doctor coughed, disrupting Roy from his thoughts. " General if you would leave me and Mr Elric alone for a moment, while I conduct some test, you might want to call his brother, before he has a fit also".

Roy nodded before leaving. Ed stare at the doctor " Al is still here". The doctor nodded

" him and his girlfriend were here everyday, though the girl had to drag him away to get some rest" Ed nodded at least Al had Winry with him, he wasn't alone. The doctor got put a needle and that's when Ed flipped it.

"NO, NO, NO, NO THAT IS NOT COMING NEAR ME, I'LL TAKE ME CHANCES WITH DEATH!". The doctor chuckled but continued to advance on Ed with the needle.

" now, now Mr Elric, its only a pinch, it last seconds"

Ed tried to get out of the bed but found his legs had been restrained he looked up worried at the doctor, who just once again chuckled at him. " we told your brother about what the test were, he told us to do this"

Edward tried to struggle "WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON THAT TRAITOR" The doctor pinned Edwards arms above his head with one hand. He lifted Ed's shirt above his stomach. Ed was still trying to struggle, when the doctor slowly inserted the needle into Ed's stomach. Once he got what he wanted he drew out another needle and drew some blood from Ed's arm.

"Was that so bad" Ed was acting like he had been attacked by a ghost with the way he was acting. The doctor left as Ed drifted back to sleep.

Ed woke and moved his legs, the were no longer restrained, Ed smiled to himself " no more needles, that god". He look around the dark room, he was alone.

Ed's breathing became heavy and tears started to run down his cheeks as he went back to another time that he had lived. He was once again chained but this time to a bed,he had been alone in the dark for sometime. At first Ed thought it was a time he was safe, a time he could relax... But he was wrong.

A man came in and walked toward Ed. He pushed Ed onto his back while he joined Ed on the bed hovering on top of him. All that could be heard was breathing, Ed's was raspy with panic while the other man was full of excitement. Then all of a sudden the other man brought his lips to Ed's.

Ed tried to break free but the man just put his full weight on him, crushing Ed to the bed. Ed screamed for someone to help him, even though he knew no one would,they were trying to break him. This went on for hours, when the man left, Ed was lying on the bed naked and crying. When Ed woke from the nightmare, he was still just as freaked.

He was screaming, he got out of the bed, he jumped out of bed, but instead of trying to make a run for it. He ran into the bathroom and turned the water. He stop screaming but he stripped and was in the shower fast, he started scrubbing. He was in the shower for hours and not once did he stop scrubbing. When he finally got out, his skin was red, skin was removed in places and it hurt a lot. Ed almost didn't want to put clothes back on, as he slid his clothes on slowly he skin stung.

He slowly walked to the his door, where the light switch was, flicked it on before making his way back to bed, and falling back to sleep.

When Ed woke again it was because an argument had broken between Roy and Winry, it was about where Ed would be staying when he was allowed out of the hospital.

" he is coming back with me and Al" Roy shook his head

" that's the last thing he needs, is to feel all alone with you two being all lovey dovey all the time"

Ed moved to show them that he was awake, and as soon as they realized, he wished they hadn't because know they wanted to know what he wanted.

He blushed lightly " Roy's right, you and all need time alone... But there is no ay in HELL that I am stay with the bastard"

They stared at him in shock, Winry had expected that he would have chosen to refurb home with her and Al. Al walked over to Ed ... " I know you don't want to intrude but you wouldn't be"

Ed shook his head "yes I would be, even when you say it isn't, I know that you know it is"

Al gave Ed a sad look, " then stay with General, please brother, I don't want you to be alone" Ed hated when Al did that, the sad look... Ed has never been able to resist Al's puppy dog face. He crossed his arms and pouted "fine, I'll stay with Mustang"

Alphonse smiled, Ed looked over at Roy who showed no emotion " If it's okay with, you that is" Roy gave him a smirk " it's the doctors orders" Ed went red in the face and he glared at Roy. "WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?" Al and Winry exchanged a 'here they go again' look. "well Edward the doctor said, you couldn't go home alone, you need help Edward... And I guess I'm willing to help".

This was when Winry butted in " See Al this is why he should come home with us, he guesses he can help"

Roy held his hands up in a defense " I was teasing, of course I'll help, whether he wants me here I'm here to help"

Al smiled and turned to Winry " see everything's fine, and you know Ed he is stubborn, he would have never come home".

The doctor came back on to do another check up on Ed, this was when the red raw skin was noticed. When the doctor said something everyone came and had a look. Ed's arms, leg chest were all red raw, Ed had to fight back whimpers when the doctor touched it gently. " what did you do Edward"

Ed turned away from everyone, " I had to get the mess off, it wouldn't come off" tears started form and fall down his cheeks. Roy came and put his hand on Ed's shoulder, and moved away slightly away from the sudden contact. " what happened Ed?"

He looked at Roy tears still streaming down his face " I-I couldn't s-stop h-him..."

Then Roy realized this must be about the rape that Ed had endured while on the other side of the gate.

He moved Ed's bangs out of his hair "shh it's okay Ed, he can't get you here, he is gone, we are here to protect, I'm here to help you"

Then Ed shocked everyone he just nodded and settle down again , he looked at the doctor " so can I leave with Mustang today?"

The doctor thought about it for a moment then nodded " you still need to rest, no missions" Ed nodded " yes, yes, can I please go now I hate hospitals"

Ed and Roy said goodbye to Al and Winry as the got on the train after promising to call at least once a week. When they finally reached Roy's house, Ed was shocked to see that it was just an ordinary house and not some huge house. " wow Mustang, with the way you act I thought you lived in a castle"

Roy chuckled " nah castles are over rated, and please call me Roy"

"okay Roy" he nodded liking the way he said it. Roy just smirked and helped Ed out of the car.

Roy showed Ed around the house, when Ed was shown the guest room he started to blush and seemed like he wanted to ask something, Roy waited and waited but the blonde never said anything. He didn't even say anything as they were eating dinner, the were eating Chinese food, Roy tried to make small talk but Ed would just avoid talking as much as I could.

Roy noticed that Ed didn't eat much, Roy knew from experience that Ed at a lot so this worried him. " you barely touched your food fullemetal" Ed glared at Roy.

" Ed and I'm not hungry, I had a needle" Roy nodded and continued to eat his food, while pretending not to be watching Ed play with his food.

Ed suddenly got up from the table and walked away, Roy waited, he put the dishes in the dishwasher then walked up the stairs and followed Ed. Ed was in the guest room that consisted with one single bed and a bookshelf full of books. Ed was curled in the corner rocking back and forth in a panic.

Roy rushed over to his side. Wrapped his arm around Ed, this time he moved into his touch instead or moving away. "shhh Ed it's okay, what's wrong"

Ed looked up at Roy and say the concern in his eyes and smiled weakly " I don't want to be alone, the dark it..." Roy interrupted him

" your not alone Ed I'm here, I'll always be here".

Roy sat Ed on his lap, rubbing his back in gentle movements. He pulled away to have his face to face with Edward. " what happened while you were on the other side of the gate"

Ed looked away " why do you care, why does it matter"

Roy pulled Ed to look at him " I care because you are important to me, and it matters because I want to help you, and to do so, you have to let me in"

Ed stared at Roy and then he whispered " I was captured after the invasion, they weren't happy that I helped the wrong side" Roy squeezed him tighter, " they wanted to know about this side, alchemy and other stuff, they... They did horrible things to me" Ed had started to cry at this point, Roy rocked him back and forth " shh its okay, you don't have to tell me everything tonight, tell me when your ready"

Ed nodded and cried into Roy's shoulder until he fell asleep, Roy took Edward over to the bed, he lifted the blanket over him, tucking him in. When he went to walk however a hand grabbed him. " don't leave me" it was just a whisper but Roy still heard him. He lent over the boy, " what's wrong Ed". Ed blushed lightly as he spoke. " I don't like being alone"

"I'm only in the next room, Ed your not alone" Edwards eyes showed that he was desperate. " just for tonight" he picked up Ed and walked into his room tucking him in, then laying next to him. Roy fell asleep but was soon woken again by Ed's tossing and turning. Roy turned to face him, wrapping his arms around the blond, letting them both fall to a peaceful sleep.


	3. Swear it

Ed groaned as the light from the sun woke him up, he put his arm over his eyes, turning on to his back. He started to blush ferociously as he release he was in Roy's arms. It became worse when he realized he had woken Roy up by elbowing him in the face.

Roy moved his arms away from Ed, Ed couldn't help but feel a little empty once Roy's arms were no longer in his reach. Roy lent on his elbow staring at Ed. "you okay?,your up way to early for it to be healthy" His voice was deep and croaky, clearly showing he was the one tired. Ed gave him a wide grin, " not everyone is as lazy as you".

Roy stared at Ed, wondering what Ed's real smile looked like, he started getting lost in his own world imagining what it would look like or whether it would look the same, that he didn't know that Ed was talking to him until Ed pushed him. He looked at Ed shocked slightly "what". Ed just laughed, it was his normal carefree laugh,which made Roy think that there might be hope after all.

When Ed finished laughing he wiped tears that had escaped " sorry, your face was priceless ... I said am I allowed to have shower" Roy nodded and pointed to the door in the far corner. " it's pretty easy to find everything"

Ed blushed and turned away from Roy " I ... Uh... What do... I do for clothes"

Roy smiled at Roy " You can borrow some of mine, I'll ring Al later and find out when he will drop some off"

Ed nodded and headed to the shower without saying another word to Roy. He looked around the bathroom as he shut the door. It was ordinary a sink on one side a bath on the other and a shower was in the far corner next to a cupboard and a mirror. Everything g was white Ed squinted a bit to get used to the light.

He turned to the bath deciding that was the better option, turning the tap,the water steamed as it filled the bath. After removing his clothes he slowly entered the bath, the water slightly stinging his skin especially the parts that were injured, he ignored the slight pain as his whole body became succumbed to the water.

He closed his eyes head leaning on head on the end, he slid down the bath his head sinking to the bottom of the bath, he took his last breath as his head became completely under the water. He stayed there, he opened his eyes looking up to the surface watching the water move the outside world. Soon it became unbearable so he lifted his head above the water taking a breath. He looked at his skin which was again red raw. He then went under the water again, unfortunately for Ed thats when Roy walked in.

Roy grabbed Ed's arms and pulled him above the water. Soon pulling him out completely. Ed was coughing,when Roy had grabbed him, he managed to swallow some water. Roy slapped his back a couple of times trying to help Ed. He grabbed Ed's arms again making him stand. He grabbed a towel from the cupboard and wrapped it around Ed.

" what the hell were you thinking" Roy shook Ed lightly, Ed was staring at Roy shock plain on his face. " I... Wasn't t-trying... To k-kill... myself...if that's ...what your asking" Roy's face went from one of panic to relief. " don't ever do that again, you scared the shit out of me" Ed nodded and removed himself from Roy's grip. Roy noticed that Ed's skim was red. He reached his hand into the bath and felt the water, he yanked it out quickly.

" why the hell do you have the water so damn hot, Edward" Ed just looked away slightly, he tried to walk away but Roy grabbed his arm before he could go anyway. " Ed you have to stop this... I'm here to help you, so please stop, it's causing more harm then good"

Ed looked back at Roy " I was r-r-raped... and t-t-tortured, every... day for two years... They had me so well hidden that no one found me, I managed to escape on my own, while they were having a meltdown" tears were streaming down Ed's face. " how do you plan on helping me, not even Al could". Ed started to get angry " the one thing that kept me sane in that place , was that Al was looking for me"

Ed's hand clenched in Roy's shirt he was almost yelling "Al said he was looking, that he never gave up" Roy didn't know what to do or what to say, he just listened as Ed continued to talk. "How come I had to rescue myself! I was alone for so long, people laughed at my pain... I was alone Roy... No matter what people do or say they can't change that...I WAS ALONE!".

Ed had fallen to the ground, he was shaking, Roy knelt down beside him, he pulled Ed close. Ed leaned into Roy's chest, soaking his shirt with his tears. " those memories, won't leave me, every time I think I might be getting my life back on track, they flood back in and ruin everything" Ed was now practically sitting on Roy's lap with nothing covering him but a towel, crying. Roy was rubbing soothing motions on Ed's back trying to get him to calm down.

"Ed I cannot imagine what it was like for you, but you should know by now that Al wouldn't give up on you, he didn't when we all believed you died bring him back, he wouldn't of then to"

Ed shook his head " I know he didn't give up... He acted like i was never taken when I returned, I know it was because he didn't want to bring back memories...but I then I was dealing with it...alone"

Roy pulled Ed's face to face him. " Ed I'm here now, I'm here for you...I may not understand but I'll listen and try to help... Ed, your not alone anymore... You never were"

Ed curled up into Roy again, he cried until his eyes burned and it felt like he ran out of tears. While Ed cried Ed kept whispering to him, telling him he wasn't alone.

Roy lifted Ed and carried him into the bedroom, he handed him the clothes he prepared and walked out of the room promising to be back once Ed was dressed. When ed was dressed, he walked down the hallway into the kitchen, he was lead by the sent of bacon and eggs. When he arrived he made a coughing sound to alert Roy of his presence.

Roy turned once he heard Ed, when he caught sight of Ed he couldn't help but laugh. He had given Ed a pair of track suit pants and a long sleeve shirt. Ed was standing on the end of the pants, the shirt was hanging past his hands. Ed had a really annoyed look on his face, he sat down at the table and rested his head on the table with his arms wrapped around his head. Roy stared at Ed wondering whether he could help him, hoping that he could... Ed had helped him without even knowing it, he was determined to return the favor.

He placed a plate in front of Ed,the sound of the plate on the table caused Ed to look up. Roy smiled at Ed "eat". Ed pulled the plate closer, he took the smell of egg and bacon in. He then pushed the plate away. " not hungry" Roy pushed it back at Ed, his smile never leaving his face." I can tell, now eat or I'll make you drink milk as well" Ed saw something glint in Roy's eyes that told him that he wasn't kidding. Grumbling he took the first bite, moaning it was the best thing he had eaten in a long time.

Seeing how much Ed was enjoying the food, he sat down with some of his own. " I'm not that good at cooking" Ed stop for a second and chuckled " Al has been insisting he cooks lately... He isn't that good" Roy shook his head before shoving his face with food.

Ed avoided Roy for the rest of the day, Roy wasn't sure whether it was on purpose or not, Ed was locked in the study consumed by the books and the knowledge that they gave him. Roy joined him in there for a little while but he spent the whole time in silence, no matter how many time Roy spoke to Ed, the blonde never spoke back.

Roy knew it had to do with what had happened but wasn't willing to push Ed to out of his comfort zone, he was happy with one step at a time, he just wished there was a way that he could tell Ed that he was here to stay, that he wanted to help.

Ed left the room so suddenly that Roy hadn't noticed until hours later, he to had been consumed in reading. When he found Ed, he was asleep on the bed, book still in hand. Ed was sweating, and slightly shaking. Roy walked over to him kneeling next to him and placed hand on his cheek, Ed started to stop shaking, his head leaned into Roy's hand, his hand reached for Roy's holding it close to him.

Roy smiled at ed, he lowers his face to Ed's and kissed his forehead before slowly removing his hand away from Ed. He then stared at Ed on confusion, he had no idea why he had done that, he had acted on impulse, Edward always seemed to bring out that side of him, it unnerved some people, Roy was dangerous enough let alone when he did what he want, it was lucky Hawkeye was around or else they would all be doomed.

He regretted it immediately as Ed stirred awake, Ed looked at Roy with shock, Roy watched as tears formed in the blondes eyes, he could feel Ed shaking. " don't leave me" his voice was full of panic as he reached for Roy. His hand came into contact with Roy's arm pulling himself closer he snuggled into Roy's chest. " shhh it's okay I'm here" Roy rubbed circles down Ed's spine. Ed shook his head "swear it, swear you will be here, swear I'm not going to be alone like that again...please" Ed was looking at Roy his eyes showing how desperate he was. Roy hadn't seen him him like this since he was almost killed by Barry the chopper and this was worse.

Roy smiled kindly at Ed, he rubbed Edwards hair messing it up. " I swear, I'm not going anywhere... So bad news your stuck with me" Ed smiled at Roy before placing his head against Roy's chest. " I should call Al, he should have been here by now... I need my clothes" As if on cue the doorbell rang. Roy and Ed looked at each other in silence befor making their way to the font door.

They greeted Al and Riza who were whispering to each other when they opened the front door. Al stared at Ed concern rising through him, he could clearly tell that his brother had been crying and something had upset him. He wanted to be the one to comfort his brother but he knew he couldn't Al had been trying for years but Ed never opened up. He could see Roy's arm supporting Ed he smiled at turned to Riza whispering again.

Al and Riza stayed for a while chatting to both Ed and Roy but still whispering to themselves. The whispering were annoying both men, they deeply wanted to know what was going on in that secret conversation. Al and Riza giggled as they watched Ed lean on Roy for support. Roy was trying to determine what they were talking about but was failing at it.

Riza and Al were currently observing the two, whispering to each other about how the two were clearly meant to be with each other. As they were talking they weren't ready for what they saw next, Ed had fallen asleep once again they watched as he wrapped his arm around Roy's and snuggled Ito his shoulder with a smile on his face. The smiles turned to evil grins as they turned to each other and back at Roy.

Roy looked at them confused then looked at Ed and it became clear into what they were thinking he shook his head, their evil grins never leaving their faces as they nodded in return. " it's not like that, he had a break down, I was there". They all turned to Ed with worried expressions on their faces but the attention soon went back to Roy. " if you hurt my brother, I will have no choice but to hurt you back tenfold" Roy gulped as he saw the seriousness on Al's face, he had meant what he said. Riza nodded " these boys are like little brothers to me, hurt him... I'll shoot you"

Al laughed as Roy's eyes showed his panic " just don't hurt him and then you will be fine".

Roy smiled " I won't hurt him,I swear"

Al nodded " good, I'm glad your the one" Roy shook his head at Al he moved his hand through Ed's hair it felt like water running between his fingers. "He doesn't feel that way about me, he just needs someone to be here with him... He doesn't want to be alone" Al laughed " I know my brother, he wants you just as much as you do, why do you think he chose you to be the one to help him"

Roy put his head to the side " you mean he won't talk to you?"

Al looked said " he would just say its my burden, you have already been through to much, he knows now that we are not going to leave him alone until he talks to someone... He chose you"

Roy looked down at Ed's peaceful look on his face as he sleep. Al smiled " he hasn't looked that peaceful since he came back"

Riza pulled on Al's arm " I have to go back to the office, do you want me to take you back to Winry?"

Al smiled and nodded "she is making me apple pie" he turned back to Roy " tell Ed I said I'll see him soon"

Roy smiled " sure thing" he moved Ed from his shoulder so he was laying flat on the couch. " I'll walk you to the door" al walked in front Riza walked next Roy " we all approve you know"

Roy still looked straight ahead, "I have no idea wha you are talking about" he smiled as he said goodbye. He was shocked when he turned around to see the blonde standing there watching from the hallway. " i didn't get to say goodbye" he scratched the back of his head " why didn't you wake me up" Roy laughed he could tell the blonde wasn't upset.

" you were so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you"

Ed chuckled " you woke me up with your loud footsteps"

Roy was going to say something smart back but he thought better of it. Ed seemed to be cheerful and didn't want to ruin that. " want to play a bored game, I have plenty... I have never played them, maybe it's about time I did"

Ed smiled " sure I get to kick your ass without lifting a finger"

Roy chuckled " I would like to see you try


	4. Confessions?

The two had spent hours playing the board games, they played snakes and ladders, connect four, monopoly, guess who and catch me if you can and Ed had beaten Roy at all of them. They were currently playing chess both determined to not let the other win. Roy was determined to prove to Ed that this was his game, that he is one of the best and wouldn't be beaten.

Their eyes constantly on the board, they no longer even bothered to make small talk while playing their minds focused on winning and nothing more. Roy moved his knight, little did he know that was a big mistake, Ed made his move with a giant smirk on his face. " CHECKMATE" he raised his hands in the air. " I beat you hahaha" Roy stared at the board in shock, he thought for sure that his move would have lead to his victory not Ed's. " wanna play again?"

Ed shook his head "it's not as fun when you win all the time"

Roy smirked " you could let me win" this just earned a huff from Ed as he started to clean up the chess board. Roy grabbed his pieces and placed them in the box. Ed leaned his head against the couch breathing heavy, he was sweating. Roy looked at Ed worried " uh fullmetal are you okay?" Ed nodded he opened his eyes to look at Roy and saw the disbelief in his eyes. " I just feel a little dizzy, that it I swear, it's probably just all the medication that crazy doctor has me on" Roy placed his hand against Ed's forehead, he shook his head at Ed " your burning up lie down I will be right back" Ed had no strength to argue so he laid down without a word.

Roy returned with a bowl full of ice water and a hand towel. He moved Ed's head to sit on his lap, dipping the hand towel in the water, he started dabbing it over Ed's face. He repeated the action for what felt like hours. Ed's breathing returned to normal, his fever slowly lowered until it to was back to normal. Ed had fallen asleep long ago and Roy found himself staring at Ed once again, he thought about how cute and peaceful the boy seemed. He ran his fingers through the boys hair until he to joined Ed in sleep.

Ed was at a meadow, he was walking along admiring the flowers and the smell of the country side. He was with Roy and the others they had planned a picnic, Al had announced that he would be married to Winry soon and asked Ed to be his best man which of course Ed accepted. Riza was asked to be the maid of honor and was now in a deep discussion with Winry about dresses, no one had ever seen this girly side of her, it was refreshing.

Ed was now sitting by a river alone, well he thought his was until Roy spoke to him before pulling him into a kiss, Ed was shocked at first but returned the kiss, just as the kiss deepened Ed work up with a start. He jolted awake causing himself and Roy to fall of the couch, they didn't know how it happened or how it was possible but Roy had landed on top of Ed his face so close to Ed's Ed turned his head blushing, his thoughts had brought back to the dream. He pushed Roy off letting him hit the floor with a loud thump.

They were joined with laughter as they looked up they saw Maes, who was holding his ribs in laughter. " jeez Roy the boy is sick, keep it in your pants at least until he gets better" he gave Roy a mocked serious look. Roy composed himself still sitting on the floor. Ed just sat up leaning his head on the couch as he glared at Maes . "what they hell are you talking about" Mae's smirked at both of them. " oh come on don't tell me you weren't releasing the sexual tension between you" Ed's cheek went bright red and looked away, he wished that everyone would just leave him alone. Roy glared at Maes, " NO WE WERNT AND WE WOULD NEVER!" Ed screamed at Maes and then stormed out of the room without another word.

Maes stared at the spot where the blonde had been sitting. " touchy" Roy chuckled

"what do you expect, you just accused the both of us of sleeping together" Maes rubbed the back of his head before sitting on the couch, he was soon joined by Roy. The two men unaware that Ed was sitting against the wall listening to what the two men were saying.

" do you want it to happen" Roy turned to Maes his face was unreadable however he knew his friend could read right through him, he wasn't in investigations for nothing. " he is really sick, Maes I'm not exactly thinking about that" Maes laughed at Roy he then looked around for any sight of the blonde unaware that he was listening. " when he gets better, then if that make is morally right to you"

Maes nudged his friend " he could die at any moment your supposed to make the most of it not go saint like all of a sudden" Roy shook his head

" he isn't dieing anymore...,. I hope" Maes stared at Roy clearly waiting for him to continue.

" I have always had strong feelings for him I suppose, I always thought he hated me although he seems more relaxed around me lately"

Maes's smirk went wide and evil " what kind of strong feelings" Roy groaned He couldn't believe he was having this conversation. " I admired him, he had so much will and strength to get Al's body back,he wouldn't let anyone get in his way, it kinda reminded me of my goal and made me try harder" he paused and he chuckled as his friend gave him an impatient look, clearly he wanted to know more. " then I got to know he more and I grew to care for him" he closed his eyes and lent against the couch just like Ed had done not long ago.

" then he disappeared, everyone thought he was dead I never knew how much I grew to care for him until then, you knew how I was I couldn't even use my alchemy" he smiled " then he came back and he was tall! He also seemed like he had matured when I noticed my attraction to him. Then he left again and I found myself wishing that he would hurry up and find away back, I thought about risking their world attacking ours to get him back, but I knew if I did he would kill me himself"

Maes was grinning he gestured for Roy to continue " keep going I want to know everything there is to know" Roy shook his head " that curiosity is the reason the homunculi were after you" Maes nodded " yeah but I have you to cover my tracks... Now continue" Roy smiled " he came back and he was his usual self although I always knew something was different or wrong, I just couldn't put my finger on it, despite of that my attraction grew and then my attraction lead to a new feeling" he paused not wanting to say anymore. Maes grabbed his arm and squeezed " what new feeling... TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME" Roy groaned again. " I fell for him, happy now, I'm in love with Edward Elric the fullmetal alchemist"

Maes jumped in the air screaming with joy " I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT!". He continued to carry on despite Roy's efforts to stop him.

Ed was now standing his eyes wide with shock, he tout about confronting Roy about what he just heard but thought better of it. He tried to quietly enter the room, as he entered Maes Immediately stop jumping but kept the huge grin on his face as he saw Ed. Roy was in full panic mode trying to say something but just like Ed he failed to. " uh ...Roy I'm hungry, is it okay if I make something to eat". Roy smiled " don't worry I'll make us something soon" Ed went bright red ."IM NOT SOME CHILD THAT NEEDS EVERYTHING DONE FOR THEM" Roy got up and walked over to Ed ruffled hair before walking to the kitchen. " I don't trust you in my kitchen"

Ed was laying in Roy's lap, Roy was rubbing circles along his back, both enjoying each others company while they relaxed. "umm" Ed moved so he was looking up at Roy " how long do I have to say here". Roy gave Ed a sad look but quickly composed himself " I don't know, until your better or until you want to, whatever happens first" Ed smiled wickedly " what if I never want to leave" Roy chuckled " well then I'm stuck with you aren't I?"

Ed shook his head " you could kick me out" Roy messed Ed's hair "as if I could, you would kick my ass".

Ed fist bumped the air " glad to see you know me so well" Roy moved slightly causing Ed's head to fall to the couch he chuckled as Ed sat up leaning on his shoulder. " since when am I your pillow" Edward snuggled in closer. " since your comfy and I'm tired" Roy wrapped his arm around Ed " go to bed then"

Ed groaned " not sleepy, just tired"

Ed was staring right into Roy's eyes. Light meeting the dark, it suddenly sparked something inside Roy, he leant forward and crushed his lips to Ed's. Ed was shocked just like in his dream, but just like his dream he also responded. The kiss started of soft and slow, both taking the time to explore, Roy licked Ed's bottom lip asking for entrance, Ed wasted no time giving him the access that he wanted.

They both were fighting for dominance, neither wanting the other to win, to Ed's dismay Roy was the conquerer he explored and enjoyed Ed's mouth. Ed nibbled lightly on Roy's bottom lip causing a moan to escape. It surprised Roy that Ed was experience in this field a spark of jealousy rose inside him but was soon removed as he realized how Ed would have gained that experience. Panicking he pulled away slightly, Ed gave him a confused look but moved away quickly. " I'm sorry, I understand it won't happen again" Ed said despite the fact he knew that Roy was the one to kiss him.

Roy tried to reach for Ed but Ed moved to fast, Roy heard a sniff as Ed left the room and he could of sworn he say Ed wipe away tears. It was clear to say they had taken one step forward only to take two steps backward


End file.
